A good rule for achieving unforced growth.
I love to fill my iPhone Notes app with random thoughts. The other day, I wrote, “Don’t listen to audio or social media of anyone you don’t want to resemble.”
I wish I had been given this advice when I was younger. Although I was never addicted to social media or reality TV, I consumed them. I didn’t know how toxic each can be, and it altered the way I looked at the world. As did the people I thought I wanted to be friends with.
I knew getting good grades and striving to attend college were good things, but beyond that, there wasn’t much I knew. I didn’t have anyone sit me down and tell me that I needed to have goals in life. I don’t think someone handing me a piece of paper with a pen was the key, but the pure fact, as a planted seed, is that “you should have something you are striving to accomplish in life” would have been just enough to help me walk a little braver without falling off my path.
I shamefully let so many people manipulate me. For so long, I thought they broke and ruined me.
I know growth and maturity come with time and experiences, but having a consistent vocal role model instead of pop music stars on MTV and reality TV stars would have been appreciated by my now adult self. This helps me realize how important it is to regularly communicate with my children about the things around them. It is okay to give our children our opinions. It is okay to tell them, “No, you cannot watch that.”
It took me until my mid-30s to realize that I needed to strip away all the parts of me that weren’t me. It is an ongoing process, and sitting here typing this, I am realizing it only works with intentionality. I am not where I want to be, but proud of where I stand.
There are so many aspects of mainstream lifestyles that are toxic but socially accepted as the norm. They manipulate adults and children alike. YouTube, social media, reality TV, gossiping, music, books, and movies—so many things around us were created to addict us. They distort our perspectives and values. They unknowingly influence us. They passively shape our inner monologues and worldviews.
We can achieve greatness by consciously filling our minds with voices that uplift, enlighten, and point us toward our highest selves. Seeking examples of integrity, emotional intelligence, and excellence will elevate us into the person we were meant to be—the person the world needs.
We must mindfully select the books, podcasts, videos, and social circles we engage with. This can be the soil in which our seeds of success take root. Unforced growth arises by living congruently with our most profound truths and highest ideals. Each choice reinforces the person we are becoming.
We must be intentional.
We must be aware.
We must be alive.
So many use one medium or another to numb themselves. — to escape from their thoughts, fears, and lack of purpose. But in doing so, they rob themselves of authentic living. Unconscious consumption lulls us into a trance-like state, disconnected from our deepest selves. We become shells going through the motions instead of fully alive and tuned into the present moment.
But we are all in luck. We have control because we have free will.
The choice is ours.
The choice is yours.
What are you going to listen to before bed this evening?
What will you listen to when you wake up tomorrow morning?
What are you going to listen to on your way to work?
What are you going to listen to on your lunch break?
What will you listen to while the kids are taking a nap?
Where are you going to turn next time you get in a fight with your spouse?
Who are you going to call next time you are bored?
So many decisions.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your day.
With love,
Jo
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