Sacrifices
I woke up this morning with nothing for you.
I played pickleball last night and left with a bad attitude. I guess that is what you get for doing a 3-day water fast. Please remind me to stay away from people when I am fasting. I was cursing up a storm and in the weirdest mood ever. My apologies to anyone who was around me.
My night just got worse from there. I am sure it was my fault, but this girl doesn’t know how to let sleeping dogs lie, or whatever the saying is. To top it off, I wasn’t tired due to three hours of sweating to death with adrenaline pumping, and I stayed up way later than I should have. Somehow, I am not exhausted, and it is way into the evening.
I haven’t played pickleball in well over a month. We used to play every day. Between the kids’ plays, soccer practice, swim team practice, swim meets, end-of-the-school-year events, waking up every morning well before the crack of dawn, and working myself to death to create something epic, I haven’t had time to do much, but make sure the kids are happy and attempt to get enough sleep each night.
I woke up this morning at 4 AM feeling sick. I just remembered that.
I sat at my computer, and my morning didn’t go as planned. But I stopped feeling sick, so that is good.
I did finish my six emails, and now I am waiting for feedback before I hit publish.
The rest of my day went well, though.
Thank goodness. I needed that.
I had so much adult interaction today; it was amazing.
I participated in two mastermind collaborative immersive learning environments… I am remembering why I don’t write at night anymore… I babble… And I had lunch with one of my favorite people in the world. It reminded me how important that is — being around good people.
My best friend is coming to visit in a couple of weeks. I have more than one best friend. You know those people who you can tell anything to in the world?
That is Tina for me.
We have known each other for a few years, and I have always described her as my cheerleader. She is raw and outspoken, but in a good way, and she keeps me grounded.
She moved away three or so years ago, first to Tennessee and now to Florida. We haven’t seen each other in ages, but we talk almost every week. At the brink of the pandemic, I started writing a book. I never finished, but I have a good outline lying around somewhere.
But in this book, I said, “Everyone needs a Tina.”
And it is true. You need a friend who will tell you the truth and cheer you on through thick and thin. Tina is a total badass. Personality through and through. A ride or die. She is amazing, and I am so thankful.
But enough of the rambling. I really did come here because the word “sacrifice” was placed upon my mind, and when that happens, you know I must pull up my Medium account and publish what pours.
That is what this is—my pour.
Everything I have in, in the moment, for you.
We make so many sacrifices for the people around us.
And if we make too many sacrifices, we are the sacrifice.
Until one day, we sacrifice our original self, our past self, our current self, and our future self.
How scary and sad of a thought, of an action.
I know sacrifices are a part of life, but where should you draw a line in the sand?
And when should your sacrifices be the sacrifices of the ones that depend on you?
I learned something.
I learned the answer to that.
Never.
There are so many different kinds of sacrifices, and some are rewarding, while others are detrimental.
The sacrifice of sleep that I am currently living is a reward. I get to do what I love, give what I do, and be there for my family. I might be tired a lot, but I am happy.
But there are other sacrifices I am living, that I am done with. They are the outfit that didn’t fit quite right, with the tags still attached, sitting in the grocery bag on the back of the front door, ready to be taken back to the store.
It is so calming to know the direction you are headed in.
To know what your future looks like.
That peace that radiates through your whole body is priceless.
Okay, now I am tired, and I am going to convince the kids to let me sleep. I took the kids to the pool today, let one have a sleepover last night, bought them coffee-free Starbucks, two new games at the grocery store, and I played said games with Lincoln, so I think I deserve it. Wish me luck.
With love,
Jo
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